$SaveDave

The cell reeked of mildew, its stone walls closing in on Dave Portnoy, the man who once reveled in the chaotic glory of Barstool Sports. His wrists were bound by heavy chains, the cold metal biting into his skin, a stark contrast to the freedom he once knew. His head throbbed from the blow that knocked him unconscious, his memory a jumbled mess. He was doing a pizza review one minute, the next he was chained up in a stone dungeon.

What the hell.

Dave's mind wandered back through the years, the weight of his imprisonment a crushing force against the memories of his rise. He remembered the early days, the hustle, the grind, building Barstool from nothing into a media empire. Every pizza review, every small business he spotlighted had been a step towards legitimacy, a way to give back while building his brand. His success had been built on authenticity, being the voice for the little guy, and on the sheer joy of pizza that connected him to millions around the country.

But it was one review, one damn review that changed everything. Blodget's Pizzeria, a local joint that served what Dave considered to be the worst slice of pizza he'd ever tasted. It made WaWa's pizza seem like an 8.2

Dave didn't mince words in his review, his trademark bluntness cutting through the bullshit. This was nothing new to Dave, but he was not aware of the mob presence at Blodget's pizzeria that hated this attention. The backlash was swift; With deep pockets and deeper resentments, Blodget teamed up with the fake news media and a YouTube personality known as Coffeezilla to unleash a smear campaign unlike any Dave had faced before.

His reputation, built over years, began to crumble. The press painted him as a fraud, a bully exploiting small businesses for clout. His social media was flooded with haters, his sponsors began to back away, and his followers, once loyal, started to question him.

Dave fought back, using his platform to expose the lies, to show the true face of Blodget, the underground mob boss. It worked at first as Dave won back his loyal base, but it only escalated the situation.

After starting another pizza review a few days ago, Dave had been ambushed outside a small pizza joint. Now here he was, chained and beaten, the price of brutal honesty. Just then, he was stirred awake from his memories as he heard footsteps echoing. The door creaked open, revealing a scrawny, weak-looking man, his frame almost comical in its frailty, but the menace in his eyes was dead serious. Blodget. He was flanked by his annoying bodyguard, known only as "Dragon." Trailing behind, draped in a silky red dress that clung to her curves, was Alex Cupper, Blodget's mistress. Her blonde hair cascading over her shoulders, her lips painted a dangerous red and her eyes sharp and hungry. Her eyes locked onto Dave with an intensity that made his skin prickle.

Dave looked around and casually laughed..."clearly Blodget's girl is in to me," he thought.

"You thought you could trash my business and walk away, Portnoy?" Blodget's voice was high-pitched, almost whiny, but it carried a chilling edge, his breath sour as he leaned close. Alex stood slightly to the side, her gaze never leaving Dave, a smirk playing on her lips as if she were savoring a secret. "I'll ruin you, and then I'll end you," Blodget continued, drawing a knife, tracing it along Dave's jawline. Dave's heart pounded as Blodget toyed with the blade, but then he paused, a twisted smile spreading across his face. "But torturing you would be too kind"

Blodget continued, "I certainly don't need your money...no, I want to prove that you're a fraud with no real friends. It's all hype. They don’t actually care enough to save you. Instead of extorting you out of money that I don't need, I want to prove how weak and pathetic your following is. Let's see if your so called fans are willing to give their own money to save a fraud like you. Money talks.

So here is my offer: You get to post one message on X as a cry for help. With this message, you have to raise 25 million dollars. That's what my business lost after your pizza review...only fair."

"Maybe you shouldn't serve dogshit pizza," Dave muttered to himself. Blodget then slapped Dave across the face.

Out of nowhere, Alex then slapped Dave on the butt. Blodget exchanged looks with Dragon, who just shrugged confusedly.

“Oops!" Alex giggled. Dave just laughed to himself, "what the hell." He then winked at Alex, who was now blushing.

"Make it 50 million you bastard... If you can't raise the funds with this post on X, you die."

Dave's mind raced, the stakes higher than ever. Blodget's twisted game was a test of loyalty, challenging the very foundation of Dave's connection with his fans. Dave thought calmly, evaluated all of his options. He started smirking and then he started typing. Dave posted the message and handed the phone back to Blodget, confidently smiling.